Zombie 101: Zombies Can't Climb

Guess what?

You can!



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My apocalypse of choice: The Living Dead

Oh no, The Living Dead!

You may question the wisdom of this, but please, allow me to explain:

First thing to know about the living dead is that they are dumb. Fast or slow; viral, alien, or demonic, the dead are dumb. ALL dead are dumb. This is why we will always beat them, despite the gross myths perpetuated by our popular media.

Consider the mob. That is what zombies are, a mindless mob of arbitrary size. Have you ever seen a mob, or been in one? You ever watch a mob? They are delightfully easy to predict, easy to manipulate, easy to control. As are zombies.

The living dead are also easy to contain. Ever see a mob break through a concrete barricade? And you never will. Why? They can't. It is not physically possible. Concrete beats human flesh and bone every time, as surely as rock beats scissors.

Dumb, easy to predict, easy to control and easy to contain. Compare this with SARS, nukes, or the Rapture. Can you contain the Rapture? Nope.

So...

If the world is going to end, I hope it is by zombies, because you can fight zombies, and you will most likely win.

Give me zombies, a shovel, and a couple dogs. Me, my family, and my neighbors will do just fine (if we can learn to live without the Internet).

Don't worry, Fido, we're perfectly safe!

Querying

Querying, and not the nice 'here's a note with a drop of perfume and a single rose petal' kind of querying, but more the rabid bull dog, foaming at the mouth, gonna sniff you out no matter where you try to hide kind of querying.

If you represent YA fiction, like zombies, and have not heard from me yet...drop me an email ASAP!

Hurray!!!

Done with the 4th draft of ZPF. Trimmed it down to 90K and worked out the plot glitches pointed out by my beta readers. Now it moves into more intensive marketing.

Finished two weeks earlier than projected, so I have a little breathing room. Not sure what to focus on next. Could move right into cleanup of the steampunk book, could revise and submit some short stories, or I could try to bust out a draft of a middle-grade novel I outlined back in December.

Leaning toward the short stories as I haven’t had a new one come out in several months, but don’t have to decide this instant. I’ll think it over and see where I end up.

What I have been up to

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Not blogging...

Went on social media hiatus, not blogging, twittering, or face booking. Nothing deliberate about it, just fell into an intensive writing period and did not make the time.

So here is what I have been working on:

Forbidden, a YA Steampunk novel set in Victorian London: Completed world building and wrote the rough draft. Draft came out to 106,000 words, with 102,000 in support files (outline, brainstorming, world building).

The draft came together nicely, but it will need substantial rework -- at the mid-point it shifted from an ‘academy for gifted boys’ setting, to a Dickensian workhouse setting, and the tone became darker and far more dystopian. With this rework, I expect to have a clean draft by the end of the year (ready for first readers, and possibly submissions).

Also writing a new draft of Zombie Proof Fence, a YA novel set 3 years after a zombie apocalypse. This draft is based on feedback from several very kind first readers, and is mostly fine-tuning and trimming.

Sadly between the novels and other commitments, I have not found time to work on short stories or to blog. However, I am through the intense drafting on Forbidden and into editing mode so you may be seeing more on the blog.

Guest Post: Cereal Morality

Today we have a guest post by Dan Morehead, who takes a moment to ponder the relative morality of breakfast cereals:

The cereal Trix is of uniform sweetness, every piece is a party. The advertisements for Trix teaches children that you should withhold sharing with those who look different "Trix are for kids." In truth rabbits are omnivorous and Trix would be a nutritionally appropriate foodstuff for them.

Lucky charms features lucky marshmallow bits which are a reward for eating all the more nutritious brown bits. The advertisement encourages kids to embark with adventuresome spirit to boldly find where 'Lucky' has hidden his breakfast. Once found Lucky shares his bounty without any grudge. The cereal, like the marshmallows, is a reward for discipline and initiative.

Lucky Charms is therefore a far more moral cereal.

Writing 101: Meticulous Attention to Detail

I keep metrics. Lots of them. It sucks up a few minutes every single day, but it helps my writing, my motivation, and my sense of progress.

 

For those who may be unfamiliar with the term, here is the definition from Wikipedia: “A measure for something; a means of deriving a quantitative measurement or approximation for otherwise qualitative phenomena.”

 

In short, metrics collection = measurement.

 

Most writers use the metric of wordcount, looking at how many words they have typed on a given day (I am at 267 words today, including these).

 

I suggest you begin collecting metrics. The two most important are: 1) how many words you write each day, and 2) how much time you spend writing those words. Begin recording this in a spreadsheet. Watch those numbers over the next month or two and I bet you will see them go up (this is the motivation factor).

 

Some other fun things your can do with them:

• Determine which schedule works best for you--are you more productive writing in the evening, or morning?
• Determine which environment words best--did you write more at the library, or the coffee shop?
• Determine how long it takes you to complete a project--if you have never measured this before it will be illuminating.
• I do not suggest you calculate your net hourly income from your writing as for most writers this will be depressing. Still, it can be calculated if you keep good metrics.

 

Here are two snapshots of my own metrics, and if there is interest I can post more advanced metrics advice (maybe even spreadsheet design tips...):

 

My daily wordcount spreadsheet (notice how it is broken up by project. I wrote 5.75 hours and produced 4.3K words. It was a good day for me):

 

And the summary graph for my current work in progress. This summarizes a few sheets of data, but note how it shows how I am performing vs. my goal, and how my productivity fluctuates week-to-week. If you are a clever monkey, you will also notice that the blue line the ‘real’ progress on the manuscript, and it is lagging about 2 weeks behind where it should be: